How To Survive Prison!
I have a confession to make…
There’s a skeleton in my closet.
Well, more like a skeleton in my family tree.
You see, I have a cousin who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and got into drugs early on.
All attempts to turn him from the “dark side” failed. He just KNEW he was a drug-dealer and that’s that.
Guess he didn’t believe the judge when she told him about the “3 strikes” rule.
3rd time he was sent to the big house in Arizona!
He was in for nearly a year (out on good behavior), and while we’re not really close family, I couldn’t help ask him one of the biggest questions I’ve always had…
…what are the SECRETS to surviving prison?
We all fear it, don’t we?
One day you’re coming home from work, thinking of kissing your kids on the cheek and finding out what the Mrs. has planned for dinner and then *WHAM*…
…some innocent bystander stepped into the road while you were changing the radio dial!
A few months later, you’re doing time for the crime (It happens! Hell…people have been put in jail for killing muggers for crying out loud!)
Anyway, just in case you ever get put in the slammer, here are the tips my cousin shared with me:
Staying In Shape In Prison
If you’re small and weak, or fat and out of shape, you’re easy pickings for the bullies looking to add some ego points to their cell-cred.
Use your time during lockdown in your cell to do pushups, crunches and handstand presses to keep your upper body strong and your abs tight.
Out in the yard, STAY AWAY from the iron pit Unless you’re already stacked with muscle like a steroid-juiced mutant!
This is where the big boys hang out and they don’t take kindly to pipsqueeks entering their territory.
Avoiding Prison Rape
If you’re seen as weak and you’re in a high security prison, you’re likely to be targeted for assault.
There are different “classes” of violation in prison and your goal is to be in the “men’s” group.
These are the guys who have never been “penetrated”. Once you are, you lose your status and you’re on the “fair game” list. Not good.
If you’re targeted, fight back as viciously and loudly as possible.
One other thing…that tough guy that’s befriending you and showing you the ropes out of the kindness of your heart?
He’s setting you up!
One option you have is to STRIKE FIRST!
Fighting In Prison
Unless you’ve been brought up in a gang and are experienced in fighting, you’re about to get schooled quick.
That haymaker punch you used in high school will get you stomped on quick in prison.
You need to take this predator out with ONE STRIKE!
Two things will happen:
1. You’re likely to get paid back for the beating. Deal with it and stand your ground.
Weakness is the worst attribute you can have in prison and you’re guaranteed to attract many more attempts at taking you down if you’re easy prey.
2. You’ll at least have some respect that you took out a respected player in the system and that’s the start of moving up the scale.
If you don’t know how to drop a seasoned gangbanger twice your size, it’s not as hard as you think.
I cover some of the most brutal “one-shot destroyers” in my book “Street Fighting Uncaged” at www.StreetFightingUncaged.com.
This “how-to” guide shows in graphic detail the most vulnerable spots on the human body and the simplest way to use them to your advantage to cripple, maim, or even kill a grown man intent on making you his “queen”.
Using these techniques will help protect your life (and your “manhood”) but it may also buy you a possibility of getting into a competing gang for protection.
Take it.
This is an interesting post. Coincidentally, I’m a correctional officer in the Georgia prison system. I’ve been doing it now for 7 years. I can definitely relate to the possibilities and realities of this world. Some officers are even “tried up” if they show signs of weakness or lack decent physical stature. Prison life is dangerous and consists of two sets of rules: inmates’ rules and the prison’s rules. One has to handle his business in a very nasty and thorough way. I’ve always made sure that the inmates see and know where I come from. It’s a different world!!!
Thanks so much for commenting Sterling! Thankfully I’ve never had to put these tips to the test
so getting your expertise and insight is extremely valuable.
While I don’t expect any of my readers to actually go to prison, your message was the same as mine deep down…the mind of a predator is a “different world” (as you put it)! Newbies hit the prison system thinking that it’s like it is on the block so the middle class white kids who think that going along with all the teasing will make them friends, learn FAST that they’re not in Kansas anymore.
Any other “secrets” you want to share would be extremely helpful to our readers brotha!
Thanks again!
Jeff
Gee. So, Ok I;m 62 years old and probably not going to be in some box with a bunch of “good fellas” in the very near future. But this story kicked the dust out of me.
What I needed. Even in my later years I need to be in good enough shape to stop some hairball from making me the object of his frustrations.
Here’s an idea! Pretend to go easy, then when he’s got you lined up and his guard is down, grab his balls, squeeze, twist and RIP!! If he’s behind you, you can reach back between your legs. If you’ve got him thinking you like to suck, well that’s a whole lot easier! This seems a whole lot easier than resisting at first and possibly losing. Do anything and everything to stack the odds in your favor. Unleash your inner beast!
One of our illustrious posters has been banned from the site due to some idiotic remarks that have been removed.
Remember guys, if I invite you into my house, I don’t expect you to act like a 10 year old with a potty mouth and a bully attitude. The men and women who visit here are serious about survival and don’t follow the “my master can beat up your master” approach. We’re here to learn, teach, and share.
Disagreement is welcome…but be respectful in the house.
Thanks to those of you who take the path seriously!
~ Jeff
I had a very wise martial arts instructor when I was younger. And he made a very good point to me that you briefly touched on in this article: You can be put in prison for defending yourself. Sate Prosecutors aren’t trying to reach justice, they are trying to make convictions. Unless you are a “pillar of the commuinity” (i.e. wealthy with ties to the governor [or Governator... if you live in cali] and have made campaign contributions, or if you have a high priced attorney) then you are going to jail. If you do find yourself in a situation where you have to protect yourself in the extreme, his advice was to take care of business, and get the hell out. Don’t look for the law to be on your side.
That is a rather simplistic view to prison and the way things work on the inside. You hit the high points or stereotypic points. The one point I will agree on is to fight back! Things are bit more complicated once you get passed the whole “someone just trying you” phase.
Prison, depending on which one you’re in, can be an intractable situation. Some places can be tolerable if you simply mind your own beeswax and don’t disrespect anyone. Others are simply animal factories where EVERYBODY gets tested, even if they come in looking like Ving Rhames. The rule of Strike First, Hit Hard is pretty good for most prison situations, but it’s best not to live in the fantasy that if you train hard and work out a lot before going inside you’ll be a shot caller in a week. The best case scenario is to establish enough respect among the population to be left alone. Fortunately most predators, no matter how tough, would still prefer an easy mark. If you resolve to be a very hard target, then you probably will be perceived that way. Thanks for the post. Most martial arts instructors dance around this issue.
The truth is prison sucks, but rape is not all that common. The homosexuals are the ones who get abused the most. Even if you are small, as long as you keep your mouth shut and act like a man, you will survive prison. You must be willing to maim a guy if he does try to assault you. The Obama approach with terrorists will not work. Weakness only encourages the bad guys.
As long as I have my AK-47, I’ll never be taken aive! LOL!
Jeff,
Apologies first to all for using this blog to contact you.
A video of you showed up on facebook. I wanted to send it to you but only have a very old email of yours. I managed to find you on line. email me.
I look forward to browsing your website a little later today.
Blessings, SimranKaur
My brother spent over ten years in Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary for armed robbery. My nephew spent ten years in Texas in the fed. No matter who you are there are some things which are unavoidable. If you are locked up, unless you have a ton of money and can hire security inside or are mobbed up, you will have to fight for your life. And if you are “lucky” enough to get in a gang, understand that you will have to put in work. My advice. Only fight if you have to and if you have to your life is in danger so make sure you finish him/her before they finish you.